Splattered thoughts.

Lately i've been wanting to escape. Somewhere beautiful, phenomenal, serene, farFAR away. We all have those times when things just kind of change, a LOT. & it can sometimes be over baring. I've had all too much time to think. About everything. About life. I'm not sure how easy it'll be to try and form all my nonsense into coherent thoughts...but it's worth a try.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, the circumstances, the failures, the successes, what other people think. say, or do. It's more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. Attitude can and will make or break a company, a church, a home, a soul. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can't change our past, we can't change the fact that people will act in a certain way, & we can't change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have, & that's our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it.
So maybe i've been SO focused and preoccupied with other things in life selfishly telling myself WHAT i feel, instead of having a positive attitude. Does that make sense? We all want everything to be marvelous ALL the time! Lots of us pride ourselves on being "optimist" but lets be honest, quite often that's a bunch of bull =] we TELL ourselves what we SHOULD feel, rather than actually BELIEVING and trusting in what it is we want to feel.
The other day I had a friend point out opinions. & he was VERY right. Not only are our lives largely determined by attitude, but near everything we talk about, or hear about, or live by is how we interpret, take in, or perceive things. We're opinionated about everything. Which isn't necessarily a BAD thing. But it just can sometimes stir things up when we do simple things like, go to friends for advice. Based on our attitude, we're sometimes REALLY vulnerable and easily confuse ourselves with someone elses' opinion. Ahhhh, i feel like i'm speaking another language..sorry! =]

On to the next subject....

We think about it, sing about it, talk about it, dream about it & lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define & lets face it, IMPOSSIBLE to live without. All our lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to the song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somehow, there's someone perfect, somewhere, who might be searching for us too.
It's so easy to think about love, sing about love, talk about love, & to dream about love. But it's not always so easy to recognize love that might be right in front of us. Right where it belongs. Because we're TOO afraid of it being everything we've ever and always wanted. Love makes us strong. It makes us COWARDS. It makes us happy! & it BREAKS our hearts.
Love is the most contradictory word, emotion, and action there is.
Our ATTITUDE on love, is everything. These past few weeks i've bounced back and fourth when it came to this word. It's hard to know how you feel, when everything around you, everything you thought you believed in, and knew about it..turns out to be not as perfect as you thought. When your pillars and motivation that you've always depended on turns to shambles.. But i've decided that despite all that can go wrong, and all you can lose, all the pain it can cause...is nothing compared to everything that is right, all you can gain, and all the happiness it brings. I'm destined for it, and so are you.


Just a girl... I used to be just the girl to make someones day go right. I used to be the girl who could light up any room she walked into, and could see the bright side to anything. I was confident, persistent, and determined. Whether things were going my way or not, I was a HAPPY girl. I want to find that girl again. But this time it wont be me, just a girl. I'll be me, i'll be THE girl. Whether i'm who anyone else wants me to be, i'll be just who i want, and need to be. Happy. That's really what matters most.

For every beauty in this world, there is an eye somewhere for someone to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere for someone to hear it. & for every love, there is a heart somewhere for someone to receive it.
Remember that, believe that, annnnd trust that!
--Angelica Ruth