Have some faith, you're incredible.

Ya know how in the Wizard of Oz they all had their minds set on this epic journey? In the end they'd get to talk to and stand before the spectacular, mighty, and powerful wizard. Nothing could stop them from getting there! Nothing could prevent them from finishing, from reaching their goal, from succeeding. The entire time.. through every complication of the road, the end reward kept them going. Determination & motivation.. inspiring isn't it? Sigh, it's so admirable. But yet, in the end.. this all high and mighty, spectacular wizard turned out to be nothing more than an ordinary man.
I've been so afraid, for SO long..about so many things. Afraid that in the end, I'll find out that my phenomenon was nothing more then my imagination. Petrified that everything is an unreachable hallucination. I guess, when you put all your hopes, dreams, or anything completely in someone or something else.. there's no guarantee of getting all that you expect. Expectations largely determine our perceptions of life. Unless we're constantly satisfied we tend to think life is "against us." Believing that this world should cater to our ever need..we're only setting ourselves up to be disappointed. Money, marital status, or possessions..only lead to temporary fulfillment, if that. Relying on any other human being to be our constant, and single source of contentment or happiness is an impossible standard to upkeep.. no matter how wonderful the person may be.
In the end we need to stand up for ourselves. We need to love who we are. We need to not allow what we do, or what we want to define us. Each person in this world can be destined for greatness, if that's what they strive for. We create our own destiny. No limitations. Its unfair to ask another to love you before loving yourself. Selfishness is no way to start any type of relationship. We all have our purposes. We're all of importance. You can waste your time wining about what you don't have, about all that's "against you".. or you can go out and do something about it. Dreams don't have to stay dreams. No matter what kind of mistakes we make, no matter how selfishly we may act, no matter how much wreckage we leave in our path.. our futures are never hopeless. WE are NEVER hopeless. God is always present & we all hold a position in his heart as unique, unrepeatable expressions of his love=]
--Angelica Ruth.

Words erased. Lets reconstruct.

Remember when I had paragraphs and paragraphs about the boy? Well, lets try again. Just because you can't see what's "wrong" with someone, doesn't mean they're "right." Because, whether we'd like to believe it or not.. there are great people in the world. We're surrounded by them. We just, for some reason, spend our time focusing on the bad people and all that's wrong in our life.. instead of the upper side. We're human. Point is, we can't go around falling for every good person in this world. If we let that happen, we're going to end up over looking the right person.If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away & if he doesn't, nothing can make him stay. How brutal is this world of love? The ups, downs, build me up, break me to pieces, naive and hopeful fantasy we bathe in. So true. But so worth it. I have some of THE most incredible people to ever walk this world in my life. I'm so beyond blessed. I have more love in my life, that most people only dream of. It's astonishing to realize that there's so much more to come. One of the remarkable people in my life showed me a quote that couldn't fit more perfectly.
"The funny thing about love is that sometimes we're so scared of getting hurt or of it not working out..that we shy away from the opportunity staring us straight in the eye. We're so scared, too scared to take a chance. It well may be in the end of it all, when we turn around we have true love in our grasps and just never realized we were so close." I never tire of turning around and being stunned at all the possibilities I over look. My over analyzing, worrisome, caring ways can definitely get me in my share of debacles... but it also leads to a pretty damn moving epiphany. Let's try this again.
Hi, I'm Angelica. I used to think I knew it all, come to find out--I don't. I'm not invincible either, that lesson hurt a lot more then you'd imagine. I'm a sucker for the little things in life. Pick me a flower from my front yard, and tell me you traveled the world for the perfect one & it led you back to me. Don't take my heart, earn it. I sometimes pretend i'm this impossible heart to grasp, no one can break through.. wrong again, i sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve for all the wrong boys. I'm just a girl. I have dreams, determination, desires, and fears just like every one else. To you i might just be another face in the crowd. But someday, to someone, i'll be the one. I'm destined for love, just like you. Thrilling aint it? But frustration's quick to follow. Music is where you'll find my soul, it'll be outdoors, along with all the animals and kids, on a warm day with everyone drinking lemonade and laughing to no end.Dire to have someone. Ha, nah. Just thankful to God that someday it'll be real. Someday i'll be holding his hand as he's holding me.. I'll look up into those eyes and feel it again. That rush, comfort, the certainty. I'll smile & tell you I never doubted you, i knew you were real. The way I see it, patience is a pretty small price to pay for what you'll be rewarded with in the end. Dontcha think?I want happiness just like everyone else. It's not the boy in the past i'm chasing. It's the emotion from the memory. Being held, looking up and knowing you're in the arms of the person who loves you most in the world. The little moments. The stupid humiliating stories only you two know about. The security, trust, total package. I miss looking at someone knowing there wasn't a competition. I was it. Seeing him and no one else came close to comparison. He didn't have to be the cutest, funniest, smartest, most talented anything. Nothing else mattered, because he was the only one to give me that feeling.
You know what I'm talking about. You want to smile, laugh, cry, scream, hold 'em close and run away all at once. You're not exactly sure if anything about the person or relationship in itself fits or is "right" but you KNOW that the feeling can't be wrong. There's nothing wrong about something so beautiful. All anyone wants is someone to love them back. If we find that, we're the luckiest person in the world. I've come to realize, and ACCEPT that my past can't keep defining my now, and what I do with my future. Because if that continues.. then i guess i'm here forever. I can't be stuck on the other side of the glass. I'm better than that. I'm the girl who deserves it all.
Maybe we're meant to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we'll know how grateful to be for the gift. Maybe it's true that we don't know what we have until we lose it. But yet we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way. Happiness lays with those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of the people who've touched their lives.
--Angelica Ruth.